Pup Peeves - 12 Things You Humans Do That Drive Us Dogs Bonkers!

"To err is human; to forgive, canine." — Unknown

We love you humans! You know that, right?! You're like big, hairless puppies who somehow figured out how to open treat bags. Kudos to you! But sometimes, you do things that make us want to bury our heads in the backyard - and not just to hide a bone.

So, allow me to take you through the top 12 things you humans do that make us wonder if cats might have the right idea after all (for about 0.5 seconds, until you open the treat jar).

1. The Fake Throw

Ah, the old "pretend to throw the ball but actually hide it behind your back" trick. Hilarious. Really. We're laughing on the inside. Can't you see our tails wagging with mirth? Oh wait, they're not. Because this isn't funny, Karen. This is emotional manipulation, and we don't appreciate it. Next time, don't be surprised if we "pretend" to bring the ball back.

2. The Vacuum Cleaner Menace

Imagine a roaring beast that sucks up everything in its path. Yep, that's your vacuum cleaner. We dogs see it as a ferocious enemy, and you insist on unleashing it regularly. Seriously, why?

3. The Doorbell Dilemma

Ding-dong! Panic stations, everyone! The doorbell rings, and we lose our minds. But you just stroll over, acting all nonchalant. How can you be so calm when the world is clearly ending?

4. Blowing in Our Faces

You think it's adorable how we scrunch up our noses, don't you? Well, how would you like it if we exhaled our post-kibble breath directly into your nostrils? Not so fun now, is it?

5. Dressing Us Up

Putting us in ridiculous outfits might be adorable to you, but we’re not amused. Tutus? Superhero costumes? Really?! We're dogs, not your personal dress-up dolls. Our dignity is hanging by a thread - much like that ridiculous bowtie you made us wear to your cousin's wedding.

6. The Food Tease

You wave that delicious snack in front of us, saying, “Sit,” “Stay,” “Wait.” It’s downright torture! Just give us the treat already!

7. The Mystery of the Leash

The leash comes out and it’s pure excitement. Then, you make us wait forever to actually go outside. Leash in hand, door still closed - why the delay?!!

8. The Ignored Signals

We nudge, we whine, we give you the eyes, and you still don’t get it. Walk time! Now!

9. The Great Furniture Debate

One day we’re allowed on the couch, the next day we’re banished. Make up your mind, humans!

10. Waking Us Up

You know how you hate it when your alarm goes off? That's how we feel when you decide it's time for us to wake up from our 17th nap of the day. We need our beauty sleep to maintain this level of adorableness, you know.

11. Changing the Walking Route

We have our routine, our favourite sniffing spots, our regular canine gossip corners. When you suddenly decide to turn left instead of right, it's like you're rewriting the dog constitution. A little warning would be nice 

12. Baths

Finally, the ultimate betrayal. You lure us with sweet words and promises of treats, only to dunk us in tepid water and assault us with strange-smelling soaps. Et tu, human? And don't even get me started on the hair dryer. That's just adding insult to injury.

But hey, we still love you - quirks and all. Just remember: we know where you keep your favourite shoes, and we're not afraid to use them as chew toys. Keep those tails wagging, and maybe ease up on the costumes, okay? Until next time, keep the treats coming and the vacuum at bay!

Truffle 🐾